Vettie

Hello Mech Fans.

Its been a bit since Vettie has posted anything to his blog. There is a good reason for that and I will go into it in a few moments, but first I want to extend a thank you to the readers of Vettie's Views and to anyone who has made a post to any of my columns.

As I mentioned, Vettie has not posted to his blog in some time. Ol' Vettie has been tied up with a bunch of damn doctors and medical tests and related things.

Let me give you a little background info then I will bring you up to date. About 3 or 4 years ago, I somehow managed to break the S1 socket in my lower lumbar region of my back. The break was nearly a clean horizontal break. The upper portion of the socket (S1) remained intact and connected to the rest of my spinal column (thank goodness), but it slipped from its usual “place” and fell downward and slightly right roughly an inch where it came to rest on my sciatic nerve (bundle), damaging the nerve bundle and causing me temporary paralysis (not to mention a huge amount of pain). The result was a spinal fusion and some hardware on the S1, L5, L4 areas of my spine and some physical torture, I mean therapy, to learn to walk again.

It was at that time, my surgeon discovered that I have disease commonly known as de-generative disc disease. What this disease does is cause the discs to degenerate and collapse down upon one another until it is just bone munching bone and whatever set of nerves you have in there. Currently, there is no known cure for this. There are fixes along the way, which basically results in a (forgive my spelling) discectomy surgery where they remove the damaged or crushed discs and replace it with a sponge type material and drill a small hole in the spine to re-route the nerves (that are hopefully not damaged from the collapse of the discs).

Unfortunately, I have also had to have the discectomy done because 2 years after my fusion, L3 collapsed as L2 fell down on it. This surgery is not as intense as the fusion and the recovery time is much less. I had that surgery last year.

As a result of the fusion, I had to learn to walk again and because of the nature of my injury, my sciatic nerve suffered extensive damage. During the fusion, my sciatic nerve was “wrapped” to prevent any further damage. To give you a visual picture, think, if you will, of a bundle of wires wrapped in electrical tape to keep them together. Also think that the bundle of wires were NOT tagged on both ends and many of them were nicked or damaged enough that they were either severed or had a lot of copper exposed. Not knowing which wire goes where you just wrap the bundle and you reconnect some that you HOPE work.

There is not enough knowledge in the medical community (yet) to determine which nerve goes where or how to repair the ones that have suffered catastrophic damage, so the fix is to wrap the entire bunch and “hope” that the body re-connects the right ones to the right places. Having said that, the surviving nerves didnt exactly work correctly. That is afterwards I have suffered two types of motor control issues with my right leg and sometimes my left one. The first type of issue would be that while walking or sitting, my right leg would go completely numb for 5 to 15 seconds and I could not force it to move unless I used my hands or my other foot or some external object. This sensation, or lack of, would pass and the ability to freely move my leg would and does return to normal. The other failure is that my leg will have a spasm that causes my leg to shake or wobble uncontrollably for a few seconds, again passing and returning normal motor functionality. To keep from falling in the event I have one of these failures while walking, I am forced to rely on a cane. This was quite difficult for me to accept because I was an athlete in High School and in College and even after my college years. I played the big 3 in high school and I played Basketball and Rugby in College and then rugby after college. Later I played mens softball and several men's leagues for basketball. As I got older and the kids got to the age where they wanted to play, I coached kids softball and soccer as well as mens softball. So learning how to walk and walking with a cane was very difficult for me to swallow, and do.

Anyway, back in March or April of this year I started have a pain in my left side. The best way to describe the sensation was the pain you get when you have been running for too long and your side hurts, except this pain was on the left side. It would come and go, but it hurt when it came.

At the end of July, I unexpectedly was laid off from my job of the past 5 years. I was still having this pain, but it was more frequent and lasted longer and longer each time. Since I was not working, I decided to go to my doctor and let her look at it. I figured it was some serious gas from something I was eating or a bone jabbing my stomach (from a broken rib injury years ago) or maybe even my gall bladder going bad.

So I went to my doctor and she sent me to see a specialist. This guy set up some tests including an ultrasound, some MRIs, a CT Scan and some blood test. When I go to see him to discuss the results, I am a bit surprised at his answers. He tells me my spleen is roughly 1.5 times its normal size and that my blood platelet counts are low. Starting with the part I didnt understand, I asked him about the blood stuff and he says my white count is about 110k. That sounds like a lot to me, so I asked what is normal since mine was low. He tells me 150k to 500k is normal. So I ask what causes that. He says the liver is doing something wrong, but he is not a liver guy. He says he can remove the spleen which would end the pain, but that he doesnt want to until we find out what is the deal with the liver. Another specialist...

So I get the appointment and I go for more tests and XRays and pictures and blood work and a liver biopsy. Let me just say right here, if you have never had a liver biopsy you are in for quite a surprise when they do one. You are awake for the procedure which doesnt last very long. You are laying flat on a table, with some sort of IV fluid running through you and they put you under a CT Scan to get an exact location of your liver. They then mark it with a big “X” using a sharpie. They take you out from under the CT Scanner and give you a local anesthesia. They they get this rather large syringe with a big needle on the end of it and put you back under the Scanner. When they have you all lined up, they jam the entire syringe into your gut with a big push. I about jumped off the table. “sir, you have to be still” they said and I quipped back, “WTF are you doing? That hurt like hell!” Then the remove the plunger and insert a small device in the syringe that cuts small samples of you liver. They take 2 to 4 pieces of different sections and mark them accordingly as to where they came from. This is sent of to some lab and they send the results to your doctor, who then calls you in to discuss them.

So all this took place and I get the call to come speak with the Doctor. You know its bad news when they want you to come in. IF it was good, they tell you over the phone. So, I was expecting some bad news when I went for the appointment, but I was not expecting the news I received.

Seems Ol' Vettie here has cirrhosis of the liver and it is already in stage four of four. I have the non-alcoholic, non-hepatitis version, but the result is the same. Stage four basically means that the liver is failing and that the spleen is picking up the overflow and trying to “cover” for the liver. That is the reason the spleen is so enlarged, its having to do too much work. If we remove the spleen (the thing that is causing all the pain in the first place), then Ol' Vettie dies in 6 months (more or less). That option is out.

Back to the liver, the Doctor says there is no reversing the current state, but we do have the ability to slow down the failure. We can take some certain drugs, which I was already taking for blood pressure and I can watch my diet and not eat certain things, which I was already doing because I have type 2 diabetes (yay!). So I was and am already doing the things I can do to slow the spread of the cirrohsis, but it will eventually take over the entire liver and cause it to fail. I am not going to tell you my expected time left because there are still some options.

In one or two years (I have to go to the liver specialist every 6 months for blood tests to check on the status of the liver) I will become a candidate for a liver transplant. Currently, there is a 2 year waiting list for a liver, but that changes based on your condition and the availability of a compatible liver. IF I receive a transplant, and if it is successful, it will add anywhere from 5 to 10 years of expected lifetime depending on the condition of the liver and how well my body adapts. If I dont get a transplant when the time comes, well Ol' Vettie will get a good view of the daisies from the underside.

Now let me explain a couple of other things to you. I have never been a 'big drinker' and the Doctor says my liver condition is probably hereditary. Neither of my parents exhibited any issues, but both died at relatively young ages of other issues and any liver problems may not have shown up or may have been masked by the other issues. Also, as I mentioned early on in this post, I have had a couple of back surgeries. One of the off shoots of back surgery is that sometime you end up with a condition known as chronic pain.

Many of you go to the doctor and they ask you if you have pain and on a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain level, with 1 being almost nothing and 10 feeling like your gonna die. Well chronic pain is a level 5 to 7 that you have ALL the time, and because you have it ALL the time, you get a little used to it and and feel s more like a level 2 or 3 to you, but to others it may be a 6 or 7. So I have this chronic pain in my back and legs ALL the time. Now, because of the liver / spleen issue, I also have a new area of chronic pain that is about a level 5 or 6 all the time. The condition persists and prevents me from standing or sitting for long periods at a time and I am basically uncomfortable all the time.

I am not a big fan of “pain killers”, but my regular Doctor, my back surgeon and my liver specialist have all given me prescriptions for pain killers to take every day. I dont. I try only to take them when I have days that are almost too unbearable for me.

It is hard to explain chronic pain, but it affects every aspect of your life and the people close to you. You, yourself dont notice so much, but those around you certainly do. Its like you get grumpy all the time and frustrated with little things, but you dont notice because you are now like that all the time. You friends and family do notice and either have to accept it and change the way they 'behave' around you or they can just leave you to be miserable.

I have been very fortunate. I have been blessed with a wonderful wife who is trying very hard to help in every way she can to make my existence as comfortable as possible. I thank the Lord for her every day.

I also mentioned I lost my job back in July. Because of my medical condition, I am no longer able to work. This has placed an even bigger burden on my wife. We will soon be selling our home (ironically enough, that we bought 5 years ago) and moving to something we can afford to live in based on her salary. Much of our savings have been spent on medical bills, so we dont have a big nest egg to fall back on and the housing market is not so great right now so we are hoping that we dont take a beating on the sell of the house. This all kinda sucks because I have worked for the better part of 30 years or so and to see things just slip away...well anyway.

I try to keep myself in very good spirits and I try to be happy from day to day and I also try to mask the pain as much as possible and not complain about it much. I joke and cut up as much as possible and try not to think about the unfortunate turn of events I have been dealt. I have my faith and I pray a lot and I know every thing happens for a reason and sometimes those reasons arent very clear at first, but everything will work out in the end.

Ok. Sorry about all the mushy stuff and the medical stuff, but I wanted to let my readers know where I had been and why so long between posts. On to the future? Well, I am not shutting down the site, but I will say the posts will not be as often as they have been in the past until the Doctors and I work out some way for me to sit up without so much pain, and I am sure we will, it just takes time.

I will be trying to make some time to actually get on line and play the game. I suspect I wont be on for too long, but long enough to make a good target for many of you! LOL!

Also, there are WAYYYY TOOO many people that I need to express my gratitude too, so I am not even gonna try to list them all. But I would like to take a little more time to thank some of folks that I have “met” over the years and they have influenced me in some way.

Not in any particular order
Genghis Prawn
Mini Me
WB3
Warden
Oneshot
The Black Knight Mercenaries
The White Tigers
The Midnite Cobras
The Blood Pearls
Mech Combat
MercStorm
MWL
NBT
MekTek
and many others I have met online on the battlefields or in a forum somewhere.

Let me say that The Blood Pearls have been such an inspiration to me, not only in this game we all love, but as friends we have all come to be talking over comms over the years. Each of them are really and truly special in their own way, but even as a group they are a great bunch of folks. I learned so much from each one of them, not only about the game but about life. We have all had some really great times playing this game and just chatting about nothing or serious stuff. A really great bunch. I am proud to have been and still be a member of the greatest team ever. Hats off and bows to The Pearls.

The Sunder Junkies is another group I have extremely proud to have been associated with. GP and Mini put together a web site for all the Sunder Players to have to discuss everything from housing repairs to MP4!

Mechcombat. WB and the group over there put together a league in the waning years of this game and made it come to life. They invited me to be part of it, damn, its a fine league. FFP LIVES!!!

The guys at MekTek have done a great job in keeping this game alive and allowing me (as part of the Blood Pearls) to be a beta tester for MP3 and MP4 has been absolutely a great experience. When you guys get to see MP4, it will blow your socks off. So many things, its almost like a brand new game.

The folks at NBT for having the best planetary Mercs system ever. What a ball we had there as The Black Knight Mercenaries Unit, St Ives Compact and finally The Blood Pearls. DP and team put together a damn fine system and we had a great time.

As I said, there are way too many individuals to list, way too many, but there a special few I have to extend a few thank yous too.
I already mentioned GP and Mini Me and WB, and Jeho (and team), DP (and team), MechStorm Team, but I would like to extend a special thanx to a few of the Blood Pearls who really touched me over the years
Homer – Young and brash, with more talent than I can ever write about
AC – Talented and fun, a young man that grew up with the Blood Pearls – say hi to Leslie for us!
Agent – A friend among friends, many hours we have spent discussing so many things
Cora – An honorary Blood Pearl. Possibly the best Long Tom artist in the game, not to mention a good friend.
Wilson – Crazy and carefree, and the talent this guy has! Me thinks he is currently under the Warcraft spell...
Mechnut - a lover of the game, a maker of mech models, I still have my Victor (mint condition)
Prime – always ready for a drop, I swear this guy is Mechnuts brother, but they say they are not related
Buddha – Quiet and level headed, one hell of a pilot
Ninja – altho now retired, he was a silent but deadly force of the Pearls
Lordsbaine – aka Cpt Sparrow – what a guy, he gave us the Blood Pearl Arena, our own personal map
Kodi – Kodi came to us from MCs team after years of duels. One hell of a pilot and a damn nice guy
Mongo – a huge inspiration to me. This guy suffered a terrible injury of his own and is paralyzed from the waist down yet still manages to join us for a game or two.
Vampire – a late joiner to the Pearls, but damn can this guy shoot
Zero Bragg – a defector from the amazing team known as I.Hx. These guys were awesome and Bragg was one of their best, now he is one of our best!
Force – another good friend and fellow drummer, he got caught up in the wicked ways of Warcraft, but one great guy
Hugh Manatee – Hugh and I joined the Pearls at the same time from the Black Knight Mercs Unit. Growing up together in NBT -GET SOME!!!!
D-Day – So many hours spent playing this game against and with D-Day. From the NBT days until he joined the group. Now one of our leader
Smaga – The Leader of the Blood Pearls. Smag has been there since the beginning and even before. Talented Cockmonkey that is great to listen to on comms, especially when excited. More than that, Smag has been a personal friend throughout my rough times and the good times too.
CowCrusher – What can I say? This guy knows so much about the game, the tactics, the maps, the mechs. Almost always level headed and the talent. Man o man. On a personal level, Cow has always been there and has always had good solid advice and been a friend when I needed one and the voice of reason when I was an idiot (too many times)
I cant say enough about these guys and all the previous members of the Pearls.

I have traveled many a road through Merc Land over the years and this game has been a big part of my life whether I want to admit that or not. Sure mostly it was and is the people, but it was the game that drew us together in the 1st place.

I also would to pass what little wisdom I have on to anyone reading this. If you play this game or any game on line with others, please remember that it is just a game. Sure, I want to win more than anyone else does, even more so now, but when it comes down to it, its just a game. There are so many things in life that are so much more important. Try to remember that and also try to remember that your life can change very quickly and so many things will become so unimportant to you. I wish everyone good health and lots of success.

I am not gone (yet) and I will be posting from time to time and hopefully even playing the game now and then. It just wont be as much as in the past and I wont make any promises, but I will give it a try when I can.

Enough ramblings from a tired old man. Get out there and go play the game. Get Some ! And Pressurize Them!!! w00t!

Hope that I see ya all very soon

Vettie